I’d like to make it clear I’m not blaming WordPress, but I do think it’s not cool that they shut you down without warning.
This same query is being used on other hosts with no problems. There may be something unique to their infrastructure (formerly Pressable’s infrastructure, if I understand correctly) where that query is a problem.
If that’s the case, the development team would love to hear from them. If they can explain exactly why that query is a problem, the dev team can have the opportunity make an improvement to the query. We do not have the data to know what should be changed.
The best place for them to reach out is an issue report on Github. We’d love to see their rationale for why they think the query is too intensive.